If You're Not Eating Potato Chips for Breakfast, You're Playing Yourself
You don't have to scarf down an entire family-sized bag; a handful or a single-serving packet will do just fine.
I recently wrote a story where I waxed rhapsodic about my love for crappy scrambled eggs. I mentioned that I use potato chips as little trowels to shovel hard curds of egg into my mouth without sullying any utensils, and a few people were like, Hey, that's a great idea. And I was like, Wait, you don't do this, too? So it's apparently my duty to tell you that yes, potato chips are not only acceptable at breakfast, they're ideal, and I'm frankly surprised that more people weren't on this tip already.
I looked around, and Clare Lower who edits Lifehacker's Skillet is all about the a.m. potato chip life. I'm not surprised because she's always quite right about these matters. She adds them into egg dishes and Spanish tortillas, which is absolutely brilliant, but what I'm talking about is even lower-fi. Just dump them out and either use them as scoops for your other food, like eggs and of course breakfast salad, or just eat them as your breakfast potato. What is stopping you?
Is it a sense of propriety? The notion that chips are just for snacking and therefore cannot be a viable part of a responsible adult morning meal? That's just, like, marketing, man, and it's getting in the way of you having a delightful breakfast. You don't have to scarf down an entire family-sized bag; a handful or a single-serving packet will do just fine. They can be plain, flavored, ridged, wavy, kettle-cooked, baked, fancy-ass, or plain old store-brand—that's your business. The calorie count is about the same or quite likely less than it would be for a serving of cooked breakfast potatoes, if that's your stumbling block, and they're probably more viscerally satisfying, what with all the crunching. Also, they're right there. Just grab a few or dump out the bag and you're good to go. No need to peel, chop, or cook anything because potato chips showed up ready.
And potato chips don't have to do all the heavy lifting. Tortilla chips at breakfast are a given in dishes like chilaquiles and migas, and Doritos are a staple ingredients at Extra Crispy HQ (buy our book and see aaaalllll the recipes!) but again with the cooking. It's morning. Take it easy on yourself and have 'em raw, straight to the face. It might feel like you're getting away with something, and you kind of are. You're getting away with living your best damn life. Hooray.